Keeping my life balanced is a ever-ending endeavor of mine, but I am super blessed with all the tools and strength to do so. It feels like every week I'm diving into a different form of self-improvement, from working on my personal finance skills, home decor, outdoor sports gear, cooking, travel planning, Spanish, dating (how this is positive is highly debatable) kickboxing, and even the Paleo diet. It's weird how everything usually lasts only about a week. It's not a bad thing, it's just a sign of my restlessness and insatiable appetite for living life. I have yet to get into my gardening stage, a canvas painting phase, or serious typewriting stage but I know it's going to happen eventually.
One form of self-improvement that I have not mentioned in forever is my relationship with God. It's definitely not a phase though, it's just who I am and will always be-a believer. I'm a Christian girl. Do I go around telling people this? NO. You can't tell it by the way I live, so I don't want to give people the wrong idea... However, once upon a time, being a follow of Jesus was my biggest identity. I even had a whole blog on my journey with Christ. He was my first and everything. I can't say that any particular incident turned me away or that I've turned away at all. I've just placed God on a shelf somewhere, and wandered off, globetrotting the world and falling in love and enjoying my whimsical little life and God is just there, getting dusty (and probably getting irritated and plotting to strike me with a lightening bolt to remind me that I'm NOT building towards my calling). That's not how it's supposed to be, and that's not what I want. The hardest thing about stepping back into the God journey is that He will suck everything you have into it, including your soul. And then He will save it.
I've always believed that we don't get to choose Jesus, He chooses you. It's been burning in my heart for awhile, and so I went to service at Imago Dei this morning. The pastor shared a story about a tax collector named Zacchaeus who climbed up on a tree to catch a glimpse of Jesus as He was walking by (Luke 19). And that's how most people 'seek' Jesus. We are interested, but don't want to get too serious or too close. The thing is, Jesus saw this man and He knew, and called him down. It's like trying not to make eye contact with your teacher or boss but they know you have an answer so they just call you out anyway.
I don't really have a point, just that Jesus shouldn't be a phase or something I balance into my life, I need Him to be the core and I just want an extra push. I'll push myself, but it's always good to be held accountable.
After all, He has poured SO many blessings into my life. Even if He hadn't...but He has. One of my friends has a routine Thankful Thursday post so that she is always reminding herself of things to be thankful for. I'm not that disciplined, so here's my just random list from this past week:
+Having the best girl friends a girl could ask for. My girl friends are funny, ambitious, smart, supportive, fierce, kind, loyal, gorgeous, strong, wise, and all over the world. I love that I can turn to anyone of them at any time to either go out for drinks or vent about school loans. I wouldn't be sane without them <3 Today I was especially happy to have one of my besties visit home, and for an amazing brunch.
+Living where I live. I don't mind staying in my NW Portland hood like, all the time. I love Trader Joes. I love Powells. I love Washington Park and the Popehouse. I especially love walking to work lately cause the leaves are CHANGINNNNNG COLORSSSSSS. I love that I can walk practically to anywhere I need to go to and that I feel perfectly safe doing so. There are still many restaurants I haven't been to yet..although I've been a regular at most of the bars :D As I've repeated many times before, moving back to Portland was the best thing I've done for myself in a long time.
+My job. Everyone knows I have a very cushy job loaded with too many perks and we are spoiled rotten. Monday we had a pizza and beer party after work to share stories in the office. On Tuesday the avocados were back, and macaroons. Wednesday we had a biker guy making us fruit smoothies and had massages, then a Timbers game. Thursday we had a keg of Pumpkin Beer, a Pumpkin bread bake off and a kil
ler happy hour at the Bitter End. Friday we had more Pumpkin beer. I don't ever want to take this for granted and we all work hard every day. But seriously. I am so blessed to be SO taken care of.
+Being able to travel. Never an understated luxury. I don't care where you're from or where you've been, but if you can travel, be grateful. Truth be told I'm a bit nervous for my upcoming solo trip, but excited. I'm going to San Francisco next week for a short stint to process my Brazilian visa, and then in November I'll be off trekking through South America for three weeks, conquering Macchu Picchu at the end. I know some people spend their entire lives dreaming about this, so it's amazing that I'm just gonna do it next month. Yeah, JUST DO IT. Sometimes, I surprise myself.